Sunday, May 10, 2009

Symmetry



The last few days have been very hard. This is the first Mother's Day without my mom. Some people have said, "Well, at least you know she's in a good place, free from pain." Others have said, "Don't be sad on Mother's Day. Think of YOUR children, because you are their mother."

Both statements are valid, but did not bring comfort. I miss my mom. I know she is in a better place, I know I'm darn lucky to have such great girls, but I can't help missing Mom.

I didn't get offended by the people who made those comments, I know they don't know what to say. But their comments made me feel guilty for missing her. I can't help it, I just do.

Tonight I was telling Rick's friend that Mother's Day would be a hard day, because I missed Mom so much. He said, "What do you miss most about her?" He didn't make me feel guilty. He lost his dad ten years ago, and he said it is still very tough for him. In fact, as he spoke of his dad, his eyes filled with tears. So we shared some things about my mom and his dad that we miss. And I cried. But it was a good cry.

My grief is a sacred thing. My love for my mother has no end. I will be missing her today, on Mother's Day. I'll also be rejoicing with my wonderful husband and three beautiful daughters. Sometimes I see Mom's expressions in my daughters, and sometimes I do things that remind the girls of my mom. It has a certain symmetry.






2 comments:

Trish said...

Ok Nancy, Here is my two cents. EVERY girl needs her Mom!! I think you should just let yourself feel whatever you feel, and then tell yourself to remember....."The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there'll be sun!" :o)I LOVE YOU!!!!

MMack said...

We will always miss people even if we know they are waiting for us. It's good to have people to love, even if they are so far away. Sometimes I wonder if they are as far away as we think or if we are just too stupid to see them. My arms don't stop aching just because I know that someday it will be okay and you know what, I'm glad they ache. It meant I loved.